And, over time, the chroniclers of Heaven wrote upon the pages of the Visitor’s Book, “This much we have seen. There are good Mothers. And, lo, there are bad Mothers. But mostly, there are just mothers, all doing their best with the knowledge and experience at the time, which is B-all.” (Actually they said Fuck-all but there’s censorship in heaven).
And God himself was amazed at this work of woman which he now named the proto-type, “for see, she too works her fingers to the bone – but behold, we do not see the bone. And she too carries heavy burdens – but behold, she cooks the dinner besides. And, behold, she takes the trials and tribulations and many calamities of life in her stride and turns them to victories while man turns to whiskey”
(copyright) Excerpt from Ronnie Whitaker’s Memoirs of a Cynical Mother talk.
Do you study the baby photographs to remind yourself why you should love them at 20?
Is it difficult to associate the beautiful baby in the photograph with the tattooed freak with a nose ring raiding your fridge at midnight?
Do you wonder if you are alone in discovering that the cute factor ends at 10?
Do you have a nagging feeling that you’re only calm because you don’t have all the facts?
Do you sometimes wonder if your teenager’s brain has been re-programmed by aliens in the dead of night?
Wake up and smell the pot!
Ronnie believes that there is a shortage of honesty in books about motherhood which is why she wrote a manuscript called Memoirs of a cynical mother. Her opinions would alienate Baptists, Catholics, Prudes, Teachers, youth counselors, Ministers, doting grandmothers, most parents and adults-in-progress trying to touch their mothers for a loan. And this is probably why her book has not been published ... yet!
In a bittersweet look at motherhood, during the period of reality ... ie. age of 18 – 25; the time of drugs, peer pressure and ghastly friends, Ronnie speaks from personal experience – about how she almost lost the war but won through with hard currency, laughter and love ... while in pyjamas!
